Battling to be heard

18 Sep 2018

Battling to be heard can be frustrating.

Dominic a long-standing resident is not a fan of speaking with service providers. Many of us have experienced the sharp end of long telephone ques or people not understanding our needs which leads to frustration. Now imagine how difficult this is if you have a brain injury or a speech impediment. How you would you feel trying to get your problem solved. How frustrated would you get? Below is a story from Dominic who has kindly written in his own words about his experience.

I don’t have particularly high self-esteem nor a willingness to waste time, so I prefer not to deal with third-party agencies such as banks or the doctor’s office. Understandably, then, paired with frustration at not being heard correctly, which often happens due to the fact that my speech can be difficult to understand, I prefer not to speak on the phone to such people. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own skin, unable to communicate the simplest of facts. Even worse is the fear that I will say something that I didn’t mean to. Most of all, I dread not the awkwardness of conversations with these people, but the idea that they could be harvesting information or in some way duping me out of money. Though I don’t believe this has necessarily happened to me so far, it is a worry nonetheless.

I think my fears of speaking to these third parties is more born out of the fact that we cannot always control when we speak with them, but I reason that these people’s opinion of me doesn’t particularly matter since there is little chance that I will run into them again. Either way, I feel that the more you do something, the better you become at it; I also believe that everything happens for a reason. And so it goes that the hundreds of minutes I have spent speaking to third parties are not wasted, but training for the day that I fall in love with the transcendent voice of a beautifully mystic Virgin Mobile attendant and decide to ask her out. Joking aside, I hope that my next run-in with a third party agency will not last an exceptionally long time and will end happily with my sanity maintained.


Well done Dominic.


Signs of Frustrations

(Read more from Denfrying mental illness)

1  Frustration can make you irrational

The truth is there is no telling how far a frustrated can go.  Some of the people that go around doing ‘crazy stuff’ all started as frustrated people.  In their stable state, they probably never thought that they would cross that fine line.

If you are frustrated, don’t allow it is faster for months and years.  Some people can stay frustrated for years and decades.  And then suddenly snap.

That is not to say, that every frustrated person is going to start gunning people down.  But a frustrated person can do irrational things or become very temperamental.  Like, walk out of a stable marriage, job or some other stability in their life.

They have not dealt with their frustration and therefore have allowed it to affect even the blessings in their life.  So beware.

2 Frustration leads to anger and wants others to be unhappy too

Frustration is one rung in the ladder away from anger.  I saw recently that anger is one letter short of danger.

As we have highlighted above, an angry person is easily irrational.  And with anger are all the other cousins – aggression, conflict, strife.  These are often outlets to release the pressure of frustration.

And because we are frustrated and angry, we are unhappy and want others to join us in the unhappy wagon.  Frustrated people don’t often like happy people around them.  In fact, happy people can be very irritating.

3  Frustrated people breed other frustrated people

Listen to someone moan and whine aka a frustrated person, before long, it could rub off on you if your guards are not up.  All the while, you never noticed that your company was not giving a decent bonus.  You were as happy as Larry about your company.  That was until you spoke to Frustrated Fred.

Now, your boss irritates you.  You dread coming to work.  You no longer enjoy your job.  You are now frustrated.  Lunchtimes, you and Frustrated Fred are talking about….?   The company!

You are now Frustrated, Freda!

4  Frustrated people are often unrepentant

(OK, by this point, you are probably thinking you are a monster if you are a frustrated person.  No, no, a thousand times no.  We are not saying that.  However, we often don’t see ourselves and so when we read how we come across, it can go a long way in helping us.  So please read on).

By the time, frustration has stewed and simmered for a few months, frustration has allowed you to become callous.  You no longer care.  And this leads us to the next point…

5  Frustrated people blame

They blame the government for their lack of work.  They blame the economy for their depleted bank account.  They blame their friends, their spouse, their children, anyone.

The truth is they have never taken a look into themselves and asked what they may be doing or what they can do to handle a difficult situation.  Granted there are situations that can lead one to become frustrated.  Like applying for jobs and not getting anywhere even though you have done all that you possibly know to do.

But you can’t afford to give up.  I admire Chuck.  He kept plodding on one rejection letter after another when he was made redundant.  Frustration could have easily found an abode in our home.  But he chose to ride above it even when it threatened.

Yes, life can be hard.  But blaming the government, the system, makes you a victim of them.  Which makes life harder.  It is not worth it…honest!

6  Frustrated people can’t see the good in anything or anyone

When the world seems to be against us, it can be difficult to see anything bright and beautiful.  Cynicism has set in.  Sarcasm can be the menu order of each day.  No, the world may have a lot of things happening that are not good…but there are equally good things happening.  And you can be one of them.

In fact, the fact, you are still reading this, speaks volumes.  So start by seeing the good in yourself and you will soon start having faith in humans and the planet again!

7  Frustrated people often feel threatened

Of course, there is a source of the frustration, so it is not that a frustrated person decides to just be frustrated.  However, the thing that has made them feel frustrated has affected their self-worth and self-esteem.

Therefore frustrated people can easily be suspicious of people’s intentions, even good ones.  Frustrated people can easily think they are not deserving.  This can breed more frustration, therefore becoming an endless cycle.

Frustration is not something we should allow to hang around for long.  Another time, we will look at what we can do when we discover we are frustrated.


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